Buns of Steel
by Psychodelic Barfly
Summary: Remy/? Oooh, mysteeeeerious. Aren't we curious now? Ehh? Anyone? ::pokes you all::
1. Fragment One

**Buns of Steel:  Chapter One**

            "Ohh, but mon ami, why so cold to de Remy?" Remy asked. As if his companion would answer. He was more the "strong and silent" type, himself. Always had been.  
  
            "Y' pleased non wit' wha' Remy's done t' th' place, cherie?" he continued, turning the brand-new bedcovers back and sneaking a peek at his would-be lover. Standing tall, body hard and sleek, leaning casually against the wall, lurking in the shadows of the dim corner of the room.   
  
            "Y' come wit' Remy now, cherie," Remy instructed, holding his arms out to his sweetheart. He padded across the room toward the silent figure, arms still out, pleadingly, feeling somewhat snubbed by the lack of interest on his beau's part.   
  
            Advancing further, closer, then finally wrapping his arms around the lean, sinewy frame, he whispered, "An' Remy likes t' way y' always got 'is back in t' battles, amoureux." Snuggled the passive form lovingly, tenderly. "Y's cold, mon ami," he informed him, rubbing at the cool body with some concern, friction bringing warmth. Feeling satisfied with his ministrations, Remy swept the lithe form off the floor and turned for the bed, lover carried safely in his loving embrace.   
  
            He laid him down gently, stopping to place a sweet kiss upon the smooth planes of his midsection, then working upward, caressing the still-cool surface with the greatest of care. Slipping him between his thighs, Remy gasped from the pleasure-on-contact. Unfortunately, his amorous feelings were not returned, at least, not on this night. "Remy sorry, mon ami," he apologized, kissing gently.   
  
            Settling down finally, Remy curled himself around his mate and whispered, "G'night, m' pole."

  
  
  


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A/N:  

            ...  :D

            Haha!  Tricked all you Remy/Rogue shipper punks who probably clicked on this looking for star-crossed love.  ::cackles::

            That was Remy/Pole slash, in case you weren't aware. Tricky. Mm. ::relocks pole in closet and shackles Remy to the basement wall:: :D  ((Reading between the lines: I have deep psychological issues.))

            Oh yeah, I claim motherhood/ownership of this pairing.  .  And Lyo is my partner in crime.  She gets to diaper the pole.  And administer the majority of punishments.  :D  Mmm, pole-spankings…


	2. Fragment Two

**Buns of Steel:  Chapter Two**

            "C'mere, m' pole," Remy cooed, taking the unresponsive form into his arms tenderly and cuddling the cool exterior close to his heart. His unwavering devotion to his one true love was admirable, anyone would agree. Had anyone known, that is.   
  
            Remy'd come clean to one person, and one person only: his flaming ex-roommate, St. John Allerdyce. After Magneto apparently ditched him in season thr-- err, after Johnny left of his own free will under amiable, unsuspicious circumstances, Remy'd been free to invite his lover-pole into his bed without the prying eyes of the pyromaniac zeroing in on them during their "private time."   
  
            He enjoyed this.

* * * * *

A/N:  

            If you actually review this, I take pity upon you.  .  It is _absolutely disgusting how many counter hits this fic has.  __Disgusting._

            Also, this was written before Pyro-pet's little bridge-burning episode, soooo yeah!  Heh… flaming.  ::runs away::


	3. Fragment Three

**Buns of Steel:  Chapter Three**

            "Gambit never get any lovin' 'round dis place."   
  
            Remy padded across the hardwood flooring in his suite, pacing, arms crossed in aggravation, muttering to himself and waiting impatiently for the pole to finish with its shower. He was about to simply retire to bed with a book to wait it out, until he heard a sharp knock at the door.   
  
            He jerked the slab of wood open roughly, his sexual frustration evident through his brute force. "What'ya wan'?" he growled at the intruder. Johnny smiled.  
  
            "G'day, mate," his ex-roommate said in his cheerfully trite, stereotyped Aussie accent, moving quickly past Gambit into the room, wandering aimlessly about and eventually ending up perched on the bed, flipping through the book the Cajun'd been planning to pretend to read to get is mind off the pole.   
  
            _All wet an' naked in t' shower, perfec'ly vulner'ble, an'-- no, no, Remy! Bad Cajun!_ he chided himself, wishing St. John would go take a flying leap off the balcony.   
  
            "Le Beau, Remy, ya plannin' t' take a breather anytime soon, mate?" he asked worriedly, noticing the thief's rigid stance and apparent non-breathing. ((Shut up, I _know_ that was lame. .;))  
  
            _Every pole has a price to charge and a price to pay..._ "Wha'?" he said, startled. "John, why y' still _here_?" he asked, trying not to whine. The pole was due out of the shower anytime.  
  
            "Just makin' convo, s'all," Johnny assured him. "I also... wanted to talk to the pole... alone," he added in a tiny voice, accompanied/followed by a cough. He smiled. Remy scowled. Allerdyce smiled wider. "Ye're skerred I'll take 'im away from ye, aren't ya, Rems? That I'll play 'im, eh?" the foolish mutant cackled.  
  
            "Playin' for keeps is still playin', mon ami, so take a card... ANY CARD!" Remy screeched, posing and whipping a solitary Jack out of thin air (or so it would seem), and in his other thieving hand, held the firefly's lighter, freshly liberated from his pants pocket.  
  
            St. John gulped in fear.   
  
            Remy sneered. "'Danks, Johnny. Again." He gestured toward the door. "Now bes' be gettin' out, 'fore m' pole's done."

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A/N:  

            And you thought you could stop me.  Ha!  Hahahaaa..ha...  ::cough::

            Fun news!  I bought this nifty little Remy dolly-toy off eBay, and guess who he comes with!  :D  Mmyes, that'd be Pole.  So, when I get around to it, there will be a picturebook to go along with this fic.  :D  Aren't you excited?  

            Stole some actual Gambit lines I found online. Fwee. Three cheers for authenticity. ::yawns::  And bad me, sticking notes in the body of the fic.  I hate doing that, but… ehhhhh.  .;  This ain't a masterpiece or nothin'… or is it?  ::sneaky glance::  Not that the spellchecking alone doesn't already kill my brain with catching every single word of Remy's (and Johnny's, come to think of it) accent(s)...  ::stabs spellchecker::

            Also, uhh, to all the dudes reviewing kindly, thanks!  :D  But to the people (damned Rogue/Remy wanters who were disappointed and bitter when they reviewed!  Hahahaaa!) who left meanie notes, poo on you.  ;P  You DO realize that you're all _encouraging my bizarre behavior, right?_


End file.
